BumpyRoad

Ally life I have been looking for Love & could never find it...searching high & low.As a small child I always wondered what Love was.I knew my mother loved me but it seemed as if she was always busy working to make ends meet for me & my six siblings.She would work from 11 pm to 7 am by the time she git home I was on my way to the bustop & if i got lucky i'd see her pulling up as i shut the gate.And when I got home from school she would have dinner in the oven & would be sleeping.The only thing I remember about my father was him always beating up on my mom.She didnt leave him right away.They'd fight then be back together.I also remember my mom crying when my dad would steal from us because he had a BAD drug habit.So My dad finally went to prison for murder when I was 11 & then is when my mom was able to move on without him in the way.On the weekends my mom would spend time with us at the park, or even take us swimming it all depended on if she had the money to do so.As a small child I was molested by my uncle who I always remember telling me that love is always shown.I was only 10 years old at the time & very afraid to tell my mom because he said if I did noone would believe me.Everything my mother went through as far as men having kids raising them on my own I find myself in that same predicament.Abusive men, Feeling alone & raiseing kids on my own. Moral of my story is children look for love in other places if they don't feel loved at home.They also grow up doing what they seen being done.So I live my life always trying teach my kids I love them and not to ever be afraid to tell me anything.And that if no-one else cares or they cant trust anyone they can trust me.I also don't leave my kids with anyone as well. I have very bad trust issues when it comes to trusting anyone.This is something Id love to get over.Learn to trust & Hopefully fall in love & get married one day to the right man.